Know Being Your ‘Best Self’ is Beneficial for Everyone, Not Just You
It is very easy to neglect ourselves to tend to the needs of others, or because we feel the things we desire are ‘selfish.’ Then at some point, we realize how this neglect is not only impacting you, but everyone around you as well. Mothers are a perfect example. In their desire to be selfless, they lack the energy to interact with their kids in a more meaningful way, or find themselves snapping at their husbands due to simmering resentment for their lack of assistance.
If you are concerned about the other people in your life, and their well-being, know taking care of yourself is an important part of this equation, not something to be removed from it completely. When we tend to our emotional and mental health, and prioritize our own happiness, we interact with people differently. We are better mothers, spouses, fathers, friends, siblings and children.
So, don’t look at scheduling a massage, going to yoga, taking that night class or insisting on an hour of complete alone time each day as indulgences or selfish—they are anything but.
Evaluating How You Spend Your Time
If you are feeling it big time in the self-neglect department, there is a good chance you are well overdue for some serious evaluation of how you have been spending your time. In most cases, a lot of us are doing things we consider ‘necessary’ but are really far from it. It is all based on perspective, and that is something that can be shifted, and often needs to be when we feel our lives have gotten away from us.
Are you volunteering for one too many school opportunities to assuage working mom guilt? Perhaps you can cut back..wouldn’t that time be better spent with your kids one-on-one? Are you running yourself ragged because you insist on cleaning your house top-to-bottom three days a week, or preparing elaborate dinners every night? What commitments can you let of of? What would you rather be doing instead, and how can you make that happen?
Don’t Be Afraid to Ask for Help
This can be a really tough one. We often try to do too much to prove something to ourselves, and other people. We don’t want to seem vulnerable, or give the impression we ‘can’t handle it.’ We get so used to doing things by ourselves, sometimes it can even forget to occur to us that we can even ask for help.
Where are you struggling right now, and who could help you? Perhaps, you could benefit from hiring a babysitter a few hours a week so you can find the time to get a workout in, or run errands in blissful solitude. Do you feel you could use more help from your spouse, but have yet to actually verbalize this need, expecting him to eventually get on board? It is easy to assume people know we need them, but they sometimes really don’t.
If you can follow these three suggestions, you are well on your way to creating a healthier, happier you.